Tell her she can't have a vagina
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
