I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
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I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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