So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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