I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
