I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
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So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
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GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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