I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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