The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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