Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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