Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
