Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
