I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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