I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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