how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
