dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
