Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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