I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
