We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
