dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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