I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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