she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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