How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
