...so i touched it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
