Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize