You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have aggressive nipples.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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