I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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