its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
