Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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