did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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