She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Floor bacon is actually really good
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
