Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
