You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
