my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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