He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
