When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
