break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
