were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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