My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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