i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
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Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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