dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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