belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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