Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
