brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
