finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
