go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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