Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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