So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
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So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize