But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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