Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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