i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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