She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
