i think my tv is drunk
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize