I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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