I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
