whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
