You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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