Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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