I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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