I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize